Dating a man without a college degree spaindating ru
I've been a longtime lurker and am a huge fan of your column.I've been struggling with a question for some time now and I think this forum would offer me just the kind of feedback I need to help me make a decision.A dating question: I have been doing the online dating thing for a few months now. I only have three deal-breakers: 1) No smoking—because I have asthma and will have an asthma attack if someone smokes around me (legitimate health concern in my opinion); 2) At least my height—I'm 5'5"—and haven't met anyone that was under my height, so this is really a nonissue; and 3) A bachelor's degree. High standards go hand-in-hand with nonnegotiable values—think respect, honesty and open communication, for example—while the picky list includes factors like height: They’re nice to have, but ultimately don’t say much in terms of compatibility. My friends tell me I am "too picky" and that I need to lower my standards. Maybe it’s just semantics, but I think being picky and having high standards are different things.And besides, we have a lot of shared interests, like programming, caving, and gaming, where we are at similar levels of accomplishment and feel like we can challenge each other.
My mother has two advanced degrees, and my father doesn’t have any and earns more than my mother. More and more, degrees don’t equate to earning potential. I’d suggest identifying what having a bachelor’s degree really means to you and filtering the masses based on that quality.He is extremely intelligent and genuinely interested in my research work, and I like hearing wild stories from the club he works at.He challenges my ideas and experiments in ways that are interesting and helpful, since they’re not coming from within the academic culture.Am I being uppity by wanting to date guys that have a B. A preference for men with degrees lands in my gray-area category. It’s absolutely acceptable to require a partner who is driven, motivated and financially stable.This standard is often less about the degree and more about what it represents—career and financial security. Once you establish the truly crucial attributes for your total package, you may find he doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty degree.
I've recently dipped my toes back into the online dating pool and an old concern of mine has resurfaced.